Black Trans Women, We Need To Do Better…
T/W: Mentions of Transphobia
At the age of 18, I decided to start medically transitioning. I was a college freshman and all I wanted was to be able to live in my truth loudly and unapologetically. Since making that decision, I’ve dealt with a lot of transphobia from cisgender people but I was not prepared for the transphobia that I got from other Black transgender women.
When I started transitioning in college, I struggled finding girls who looked like me. I knew white trans women, but our experiences weren’t the same beyond gender identity. Connecting with other Black trans women was something that I craved because I wanted to find someone who shared my experience of being both Black and a trans woman.
Once I found that community, I was so happy and excited to have people who I could relate to but there was a very big problem that I began to notice: intra-community shaming. I began to notice that other Black trans women felt the need to comment on my transition and the way I take up space.
I’ve always been an activist at heart and have always been someone who wanted to create change. My social media has been a tool for that. In the summer of 2019, I collaborated with a photographer on a boudoir photo shoot project. When I uploaded the photos, I received a lot of support and love but I also received hate from some of my fellow Black trans women. I was told (and asked) things like this:
- ‘“Do you take hormones?”
- “You look male all over. From ribcage to hands and legs.”
- “You are trans. But to me. To be a trans woman. You gotta go through the changes. Hrt. Stop claiming us when its convenient for you men.who live it any other day. Claim what ya are gender-queer and androgynous. I know u ain’t take hormones. You don’t have no changes in fat or skin or breast tissue. Not even a little. You straight lied about hrt. Roll my eyes. But like i said live ya best life.”
Black trans women have faced so much trauma and pain in this country. We are treated as though our lives don’t matter and we are seen as second-class citizens. Yet, if there’s a girl who has a little facial hair or doesn’t look ‘passable’, women in the community will feel the need to talk about her appearance or make jokes about how she doesn’t ‘look real’.
I wrote this as a call out post for the Black trans women who want to claim that they care about the trans community but will refer to a trans woman who they don’t agree with as ‘he’. You do not get the right to talk about other people in the community just because you share a marginalized identity with them. You do not get the right to talk about other people in the community just because you are a well-known social media figure. You do not get the right to talk about other people in the community just because you’ve transitioned for 10–20 years. I don’t care if you’re Janet Mock, you have to be held accountable for the harm that you cause. Your trans identity is not an excuse to offer up your judgement on someone else’s transition.
I have some questions for Black trans women who feel the need to bully other girls:
have you forgotten what it’s like to first transition?
Do you not remember the stares that you probably got?
Do you not remember wondering if people would accept you?
Do you not remember trying to find community?
Do you not remember feeling lost and afraid because you didn’t have anyone who you could relate to?
I have so much love for my fellow Black trans women, but I need us to do better.
